Tell RG Members About Who You Are

Can you top this, @Grapeshot and @JMS1988

A few words about me:

Alien Abductors ask Daytonadragon to probe them
Cuba imports cigars from Daytonadragon. Mosquitos refuse to bite Daytonadragon purely out of respect. In museums, I am allowed to touch the art. Dicing onions doesn’t make Daytonadragon cry, it only makes Daytonadragon stronger
Even my enemies list Daytonadragon as their emergency contact number
Every time I go for a swim dolphins appears
Find out what it is in life you don’t do well and then don’t do that thing
I bowl overhand.
I can identify UFOs
I can open a Piñata with a wink and a smile
I can speak Spanish in Russian
I divorced my wife because I caught her littering.
I don’t believe in using oven mitts, nor potholders.
I have amassed an incredibly large DVD library and it is said I never once alphabetized it
I have been known to cure narcolepsy just by walking into the room
I have crossed the point of no return – on several occasions.
I have inside jokes with complete strangers
I have never filled up on chips
I have never relied on Mistletoe
I have won the lifetime achievement award, twice.
I am fluent in all languages, including three that I only speaks.
I am left-handed and right-handed.
I am the life of parties that I have never attended
I am the only man to have ever aced a Rorschach test
I am the reason those nine ladies are dancing
I live vicariously through Daytonadragon’s self
I never says something tastes like chicken, not even chicken
I once challenged my own reflection to a staring contest on the third day I won
I once had an awkward moment, just to see how it feels.
I once punched a magician – that’s right you heard me
I tips an astonishing 100%.
I wouldn’t be afraid to show my feminine side if I had one
I won trophies for my game face alone
My beard alone has experienced more than a lesser man’s entire body.
My blood smells like cologne.
My business card simply says “I’ll call you.”
My cereal never gets soggy. It sits there, staying crispy, just for Daytonadragon.
My charm is so contagious vaccines have been created for it
My hands feel like rich brown suede
My legend proceeds Daytonadragon the way lighting proceeds thunder
My mother has a tattoo that says son
My New Year Resolutions will blow your mind that is why I never tells anyone
My passport requires no photograph.
My personality is so magnetic I am unable to carry credit cards
My pillow talk is years ahead of it’s time.
My Pinatas fight back
My reputation is expanding faster than the universe
My shirts never wrinkle.
My snow globe gets 24 inches of powder annually
My words carry weight that would break a less interesting mans jaw
If at first I do not succeed, then it is impossible.
If were to give you directions you would never get lost and arrive at least 5 minutes early
If I were to mail a letter without postage, it would still get there.
If I were to punch you in the face, you would have to fight off the urge to thank Daytonadragon.
If you were to see Daytonadragon walking a Chihuahua it would still look masculine
In museums, I am allowed to touch the art.
Mosquitos refuse to bite Daytonadragon purely out of respect.
On every continent in the world, there is a sandwich named after Daytonadragon.
Once while sailing around the world, I discovered a short cut.
One should never shake my gifts (just trust me on this one)
Panhandlers give Daytonadragon money.
Regardless of temperature you can never see my breath
Respected archaeologists fight over my discarded apple cores.
Several saints share my likeness or vice versa depending on who you ask
Some say I found the fountain of youth but didn’t drink because I wasn’t thirsty
The aztec calendar has my cinco de mayo party chiseled in
The contents of my tacos refuse to fall from their shells
The front of my house looks like it was built by the Mayans because it was
The pheromones of my secrets have been known to affect people miles away in a slight but measurable way
The police often question me just because they find Daytonadragon interesting.
When I drive a new car off the lot, it increases in value.
When it is raining it is because I am thinking about something sad
Years ago I Built city of blocks – today over 600,000 people live and work there
I am a very humble person.

I'm on Blue & Gold so can't read much of it with the coloured text that you have chosen, however I suspect that might be a distinct advantage. :shh:

@Grapeshot

Works for me in black and white RG view.

I changed it as per below.

Alien Abductors ask Daytonadragon to probe them
Cuba imports cigars from Daytonadragon. Mosquitos refuse to bite Daytonadragon purely out of respect. In museums, I am allowed to touch the art. Dicing onions doesn’t make Daytonadragon cry, it only makes Daytonadragon stronger
Even my enemies list Daytonadragon as their emergency contact number
Every time I go for a swim dolphins appears
Find out what it is in life you don’t do well and then don’t do that thing
I bowl overhand.
I can identify UFOs
I can open a Piñata with a wink and a smile
I can speak Spanish in Russian
I divorced my wife because I caught her littering.
I don’t believe in using oven mitts, nor potholders.
I have amassed an incredibly large DVD library and it is said I never once alphabetized it
I have been known to cure narcolepsy just by walking into the room
I have crossed the point of no return – on several occasions.
I have inside jokes with complete strangers
I have never filled up on chips
I have never relied on Mistletoe
I have won the lifetime achievement award, twice.
I am fluent in all languages, including three that I only speaks.
I am left-handed and right-handed.
I am the life of parties that I have never attended
I am the only man to have ever aced a Rorschach test
I am the reason those nine ladies are dancing
I live vicariously through Daytonadragon’s self
I never says something tastes like chicken, not even chicken
I once challenged my own reflection to a staring contest on the third day I won
I once had an awkward moment, just to see how it feels.
I once punched a magician – that’s right you heard me
I tips an astonishing 100%.
I wouldn’t be afraid to show my feminine side if I had one
I won trophies for my game face alone
My beard alone has experienced more than a lesser man’s entire body.
My blood smells like cologne.
My business card simply says “I’ll call you.”
My cereal never gets soggy. It sits there, staying crispy, just for Daytonadragon.
My charm is so contagious vaccines have been created for it
My hands feel like rich brown suede
My legend proceeds Daytonadragon the way lighting proceeds thunder
My mother has a tattoo that says son
My New Year Resolutions will blow your mind that is why I never tells anyone
My passport requires no photograph.
My personality is so magnetic I am unable to carry credit cards
My pillow talk is years ahead of it’s time.
My Pinatas fight back
My reputation is expanding faster than the universe
My shirts never wrinkle.
My snow globe gets 24 inches of powder annually
My words carry weight that would break a less interesting mans jaw
If at first I do not succeed, then it is impossible.
If were to give you directions you would never get lost and arrive at least 5 minutes early
If I were to mail a letter without postage, it would still get there.
If I were to punch you in the face, you would have to fight off the urge to thank Daytonadragon.
If you were to see Daytonadragon walking a Chihuahua it would still look masculine
In museums, I am allowed to touch the art.
Mosquitos refuse to bite Daytonadragon purely out of respect.
On every continent in the world, there is a sandwich named after Daytonadragon.
Once while sailing around the world, I discovered a short cut.
One should never shake my gifts (just trust me on this one)
Panhandlers give Daytonadragon money.
Regardless of temperature you can never see my breath
Respected archaeologists fight over my discarded apple cores.
Several saints share my likeness or vice versa depending on who you ask
Some say I found the fountain of youth but didn’t drink because I wasn’t thirsty
The aztec calendar has my cinco de mayo party chiseled in
The contents of my tacos refuse to fall from their shells
The front of my house looks like it was built by the Mayans because it was
The pheromones of my secrets have been known to affect people miles away in a slight but measurable way
The police often question me just because they find Daytonadragon interesting.
When I drive a new car off the lot, it increases in value.
When it is raining it is because I am thinking about something sad
Years ago I Built city of blocks – today over 600,000 people live and work there
I am a very humble person.

Bump for the newbies who don't know about the legacy of da Daytonadragon on RG