Quote Originally Posted by JMS1988 View Post
Daytonadragon, joined Dec 2009, is a Texan songwriter, rapper, celebrity, watch collector and an adult film actor.
I seem to have accumulated another friend (daytonadragon), so perhaps I should now introduce myself more formally.
For the benefit of DD and others who have never met me - I look a little like Robert Redford when he was younger, though probably slightly more handsome.
I have the gift. I speak in tongues that only aliens can understand. I can bend light and see around corners in the dark. When I break wind I produce the aroma of Chanel No. 5. I can build watches blindfold using a three pound hammer and a cold chisel. I am considered a deity by some remote Amazonian tribes and I can foretell the future after the event.
When I took an intelligence test with MENSA my IQ could not be determined as it was beyond the maximum that could be registered.
I have explored the deepest and darkest jungles of Africa and Brazil without once being ill. I survived the Antarctic for three winters with only a slingshot and a broken penknife.
My three forays into space are legendary where I discovered several new star systems. I once encountered an alien while making repairs to the International Space Station but unfortunately I had left my camera behind, though I did get his autograph – or was it her autograph?
I was offered a Knighthood when I was seven, but my acceptance form was lost in the post.
I would like to tell you more but I am restrained by the UK official secrets act, which I had to sign prior to being parachuted into a convent in Northern Italy. I can say no more.