Buy U A Drank: A drink (or gift) obligates a woman to what exactly?

[Soleggiato]

I generally dont accept drinks from guys even when my guy is at home. One reason is that guys will generally make outbursts like that even if you stay and chat with them because they've had a few drinks already (which has happened quite a bit to me even though I'm polite, state that I have a fiance beforehand ...even though I dont... and even show them my gorgeous "engagement" ring... and also accepted drinks because I'm usually pressured from my gf so she can chat with the guys friend etc) or want to still get at you like one of my ex guy friends. He purposely tries to get the girl thats taken already... he said its funner that way... suffice to say thats why we dont hang out anymore... he'll hit on me only when I'm have a bf... so no talky at all anymore.

A few of my gfs do that all the time though, and I feel really bad for the guys... really uses them and we take off... and thankfully they usually drive when we go out cause I did get drugged once because one accepted drinks from this guy for the whole group. So no more drinks from strangers for me.

So maybe that guy did just want to chat, or maybe he was seeing if you'd have a fling before the big day. Who really knows? Human beings can be pretty heinous. The only way to prevent anything like that is just politely refuse because you never know, they can be the most polite and sweetest guy and just not give any hints of anything til you get the drink and dash cause they wanted something but you didnt save for the drink.

[Jennerate]

not only that Posh, but what i really meant was that when you accept the candy, they want you to get in the van.

this is exactly the best description for this whole situation!

[Posh]

What freaked me out, after I bought the drink, you and your boyfriend kept looking at me all night. Weird......

I know, sorry. We're freaky like that. Pssst *call us!*

Next time, just say "thats a nice gesture - would you mind paying for a drink for my husband, too?"
My 02.

This is really what I should have said, if I knew I was going to accept the drink. And make no mistake about it, I was. This would have re-enforced what I just told him. But some people would say I was still wrong and I respect that.

I generally dont accept drinks from guys even when my guy is at home. One reason is that guys will generally make outbursts like that even if you stay and chat with them because they've had a few drinks already (which has happened quite a bit to me even though I'm polite, state that I have a fiance beforehand ...even though I dont... and even show them my gorgeous "engagement" ring... and also accepted drinks because I'm usually pressured from my gf so she can chat with the guys friend etc) or want to still get at you like one of my ex guy friends. He purposely tries to get the girl thats taken already... he said its funner that way... suffice to say thats why we dont hang out anymore... he'll hit on me only when I'm have a bf... so no talky at all anymore.

A few of my gfs do that all the time though, and I feel really bad for the guys... really uses them and we take off... and thankfully they usually drive when we go out cause I did get drugged once because one accepted drinks from this guy for the whole group. So no more drinks from strangers for me.

So maybe that guy did just want to chat, or maybe he was seeing if you'd have a fling before the big day. Who really knows? Human beings can be pretty heinous. The only way to prevent anything like that is just politely refuse because you never know, they can be the most polite and sweetest guy and just not give any hints of anything til you get the drink and dash cause they wanted something but you didnt save for the drink.

Okay, so I wasn't the only person to have a situation like this happen, with the whole outburst thing. That's what got me. That kinda "brought it on home for me," if you will. LOL

And I don't like that whole only talk to attached girls thing. My fiance has a sleazy friend like that. They knew each other when they were little kids before they moved from Russia. He's a MESS. He wouldn't care if a woman was handcuffed to her husband; he's going to put the moves on her. I don't care for him for other reasons. And no, he's always been respectful to me. I guess because of my man.

A friend of mine had something placed in her drink to and the two guys who put it in there actually tried to help her . . . right out of the club. She was with some people who managed to catch up to them. She couldn't really talk and tell them that the guys that were "helping her" were the two guys who did it. They claimed that they were getting her outside into the air and then left right after. That was a close call! She doesn't drink publicly anymore.

Most guys hit on women that have boyfriends because they have nothing to lose. Its not as big of a let down if nothing happens. Non confidant men do this. Biggest losers!

They have something to lose: their teeth. And they are losers for this!

just say something witty back.

No big deal, stop overthinking everything woman

I have to over-analyze! I HAVE TO KNOW WHYY!!!!!!! LOL

Frankly a drink is a drink and that is all.

If i bought a woman a drink I would expect a chat and there would be no obligation attached.

Trouble is plenty of guys think a drink means a chat that leads to more, you happened to meat one of them. He even gave you the set up - single man from out of town on business and at a local hotel. He was fishing and cast the bait. He was expecting more (even though you told him your situation) and was upset when he didnt get it.

Were you obliged to provide more, in some eyes, perhaps. In all reality : No, absolutely not. He was wrong and ill mannered about it. Send down the Russian....

Thank you, Louis. This is what I thought. We're adults here. A drink is a drink. I have purchased drinks for guys before if I thought they danced well or were dressed to kill. I'm not a double standard person. And since he was older (mid- to early-forties, if I'm not mistaken), I figured he was just being polite. I do get everyone else's points but this was essentially my point.

I think I'm going to have to side w Posh on this one. The guy definitely was fishing but she deflected it all before he had a chance to expect anything. Clearly she was with her fiance' and was going back to his table. If the guy had any class the drink would have been a thank you for the conversation already given. Thinking he could take it further at that point just makes him creepy.

My .02.

Finally, someone who sees it from my point of view. I was a helpless, thirsty victim, delirious from being so parched. I was experiencing double vision at this point and needed champagne--stat! I was lucky to be alive! LOL