Not sure how I missed this thread through 8 pages, but it was an interesting read ...

Note to Posh's friend, and to women in general ... Always assume two things about a guy when the question of what they do for a living comes up.

First, all men on some level identify who they are at least in part by their job. For some guys it's 100%, for most of us it's far less, but it's still there. Remember, in the evolutionary sense, men are supposed to be the providers, so it's a big part of who we are. Second, unless we include some sort of self-deprecation in describing our job, we are actually proud of what we do, however "humble" the person asking may think our job is.

Posh, you were 100% correct, the words spoken are exactly what caused him to get defensive. Having someone say to a guy "oh, that's nice" about his job, no matter how it's delivered will come across as the speaker being indifferent at best, or will get the reaction she received at worst. Although it may not have been intended, he believed your friend was implying he was not a suitable "provider" because of what he did for a living.

To put the shoe on the other foot ... one time when I picked my girlfriend up, she came to the door dressed to the nines and asked "How do I look?" Of course, not thinking, I made the fatal mistake of saying, "You look fine" and immediately realized my error ... the look on her face was that she was going to kill me. Never made that mistake again, and I'm sure Posh's friend won't either ....

Your main question ... do we want too much? To that I say ... not exactly. Everyone has wants, needs and dreams, and there is nothing wrong with making all of them big. Unfortunately, many people do not want to do the work necessary to make them happen ... especially the dreams.