Endless Love: Marriage dead? Why?

[Kollektor]

That spiel was totally undeserved. Nobody attacked anyones religion. Joewatch's question was a perfectly legitamate one.

That wasn't a spiel, just a friendly stab back at all our obnoxious friends. Honestly, no malice - was smiling while I wrote it. I'm not even religious but I respect those who are.

But I don't believe for a second that he didn't know. He was just being a smarta** :-)

[brokerzach]

I agree with my buddy Luma regarding these anti marriage sites are run by losers, and thats coming from someone who does not want to get married. marriage is a great thing when its done the right way with someone who will be there through hard times like Koll stated, regardless of whatever religon people want to throw in there the lifelong committment of two people is a great thought. The legal bs of a marriage is one of the downsides because if you are wealthy marry a broke girl who "loves" you and five years later you get divorced because she was blowing your valet does that entitle her to more than she came into it with or vice versa??? (pre nups aside.) This is an idiots arguement. some guys are losers some girls are gold digging sluts. and not the cool gold diggers like some we know and love.... This does not make marriage a nonsense idea, it just means don't get married for anything but feelings. thats why so many of these supplicating losers get screwed over and are bitter. Diablos thread was entertaining and he seems like a cool chap. Lets laugh it off. Too many whinerz. I wish we were all that smart. thank god for the I N T E R N E T.

Ciao.

[Kollektor]

"some guys are losers some girls are gold digging sluts." - Broker Zach

That's going on my siggy LOL.

[roflwaffle]

Hrm..

well... touching on the subject of love rather than marriage..

i think a lot of people get so caught up in finding that 'special one'

the 'one' person in the world that can make you happy..

I think sometime down the marriage trail, whether through experiences or just wisdom, people tend to realize that there isnt just 'one' person in the entire world that you would be happy with...

If you look at the concept of romanticism, you can see its a lot about fatalism.. that all or nothing... obsession..

which isnt right.

there are plenty of people in this world you could be *just* as happy with. You are not a unique and special snowflake, or if you are, theres another snowflake out there that is similiar enough, maybe in different ways.

So yea, marriage has its flaws.. without being cynical about love. love is real, and it can last... but i think many people have a hard time coping with the fact that
1) if there is only one person in the world for you, and that person turns to crap... then you are screwed
2) maybe you chose the wrong person.. need to find that 'one'
3) got married for the wrong reason 'i love him/her, so he/she must be the 'one', full stop'...
etc etc..

Um.. where was I going with this again?

[brokerzach]

That made sense waffle. In the words of Red Foreman:
Don't be a Dumbass.

[hoochman]

That wasn't a spiel, just a friendly stab back at all our obnoxious friends. Honestly, no malice - was smiling while I wrote it. I'm not even religious but I respect those who are.

But I don't believe for a second that he didn't know. He was just being a smarta** :-)

K-man you a spiritual person and i think that is cool. I think you are closer than you think.



Speaks volumes to me. The big guy straining to touch us and Adam with a limp wrist and kind of indifferent about it.

People come into our lives for a reason, a season and a lifetime. Hopefully that special person is a lifetime.

[brokerzach]

well put Hooch.

[MaxDepth]

I often wonder how guys who find it impossible to have just one watch, manage to have just one woman. Maybe it's compensatory

[MaxDepth]

For guys - 5 Rules for a perfect relationship:

1. It's important to have a woman who helps at home, cooks, cleans & has a job.

2. Its important to have a woman who can make you laugh.

3. Its important to have a woman who you can trust and doesn't lie.

4. Its important to have a woman who is good in bed and likes being with you.

5. Its very, very, very important that these four women don't know each other.



/humour

[Dave123]

Quote Posh....

"A member posted this site, No Marriage, and one of the articles is this, F*cking decent mid-priced wh*res twice a week is less expensive than a wife. I would really like to see this wh*re care about you when times aren't so rosey and you aren't so tough."....

Quote Posh,after a guy says 'marry me'...


"You're rich, right? ".....







What do you expect Posh?...your attitude working against you,and women.....

Been with my 'wife' for 14 years,according to my tax return,i'm married....good enough.

What the church or whatever thinks,who cares?....you either live in the 1950's or you don't Posh,make up your mind,most of your threads say that you don't,then these one's come up.

[Dave123]

For guys - 5 Rules for a perfect relationship:

1. It's important to have a woman who helps at home, cooks, cleans & has a job.

2. Its important to have a woman who can make you laugh.

3. Its important to have a woman who you can trust and doesn't lie.

4. Its important to have a woman who is good in bed and likes being with you.

5. Its very, very, very important that these four women don't know each other.



/humour

Thats more like it.....

[PeterMan]

Marriage is the best thing that has ever happened to me. It's all about compromise but the payoff is worth so much more than anything you give up.

[rickifatboy]

...you either live in the 1950's or you don't Posh,...

Sheeeesh!

I knew they were BIG watches, but people actually live in these things???

Cheers, RICK

[Kollektor]

K-man you a spiritual person and i think that is cool. I think you are closer than you think.



Speaks volumes to me. The big guy straining to touch us and Adam with a limp wrist and kind of indifferent about it.

People come into our lives for a reason, a season and a lifetime. Hopefully that special person is a lifetime.

Hooch, I love you, Buddy. I'm actually closer than you think, too, but I'm not a Christian.

[normanduke]

Like it or not, man's natural state is to wander free. How is it he struggles day to day in a degrading manner, a cog in a pitiless system--a system designed to exploit him till his dying day ?
It is not his own livelihood that matters : he would have to struggle far less for that since luxuries do not mean anything to him.

In a nutshell, he has been trained from birth to repress his own wants in order to become a woman's slave. Bound by contracts and even more by children, he hynotizes himself daily into the pleasure of his non-freedom.
The alternative is even more distasteful, that is, complete rejection by society. A single man is considered suspect and unreliable.

However, without the protection and pampering of women, society as we know it would not exist. Women provide most of it's structure, albeit much of it trivial or ritualistic. Without the enslavement of men, the roads would be filled with wandering cast off women and their children.

I think every man should have a crystal clear understanding of what commitment to marriage means. And when children are involved ( whom I will grudgingly but fairly call innocent ) the marriage can not be abandoned except for dire conditions. Two that come to mind are physical abuse or insanity that requires commitment to an institution.

[Kollektor]

Man's escape from freedom. Courtesy of Mr. Eric Fromm.

[normanduke]

@ Kollektor : Wrong. Just the distllations of a lifetime of thought.
Last time I read Erich Fromm was 1966, ' The Art of Love.'

[Posh]

I want to thank each and every person on this thread who did not attack each other, at least in the traditional sense. I appreciate that so much. I want to have discussions like this, if possible, without it deteriorating into an all out war. You guys and girls have been phenomenal! Give yourselves a hand. I just got home from a presidential debate party but I read all the replies and want to address some.

why cant anyone spell GOD ???

Answered by Keine so moving on . . .

I've been with Mrs Pugwash for almost 16 years. We're still not married. There's simply no longer any reason for it.

That's cool. I respect that but can I speak to Mrs. Pugwash for a second? Go get her and bring her to the computer. You there, Mrs. Pugwash? Okay, good. YOU WON'T GET ANY ALIMONY! Alimony ensures that a man (or woman) continues to make the payments even if he decides to get a newer model. That is all. LOL

I poked around the No Marriage site and want to believe the author feels that "Marriage is the cornerstone of society and should be treated with reverence."

Although perhaps he may have some of the same problems he identifies in women... i.e. unrealistic expectations, bitter, angry, extreme emotional and mental problems, unpredictable behaviour, difficult to be around and just have a plain old good time with, difficult to please, moods that vacillate constantly.... etc. lol

The number of people out there with issues is astounding. My mother sees half of them in private practice. But some issues, scenarios and relationships can be fixed or avoided with good old-fashioned common sense. Love may be blind but it shouldn't too.

But of course. Don't you see the $100k Breguet in my sig? What, you think that's a FAKE?!?

Are you gorgeous?

Yeah, Diablo, you know it! People say my face is timeless because it can stop clock.

Marriage just a piece of paper? No value to the promise behind it? No meaning or significance? I hear that way too often. Dumb. I guess man is just bone and sinew. Blood and guts. No value, no different than a cow. Lets all reduce things to their most simple level, that way we can honor or dispose of them according to our whims.

I totally agree with this. There seems to be a push to reduce everything to irrelevance in the world. Nothing matters. No commitments. Nothing. Do as you please. I don't want to live in a world or society where everything is okay.

@Posh - comforting to know that Italians and Jews can get along so well....

They can if one of them is Catholic.

Active, thought provolking threads should not be shut... it's the quick untempered responses of individuals that need to be checked... that makes each one of us our own moderator... which, unfortunately, is not always how it is. ~Xim

I'm glad you feel that. We are all adults, or should be anyway.

there are plenty of people in this world you could be *just* as happy with. You are not a unique and special snowflake, or if you are, theres another snowflake out there that is similiar enough, maybe in different ways.

I agree with this. But if you're married, shouldn't you stop dating? Or you into that polyamory stufff?

I often wonder how guys who find it impossible to have just one watch, manage to have just one woman. Maybe it's compensatory

HEE-LARIOUS!

For guys - 5 Rules for a perfect relationship:

1. It's important to have a woman who helps at home, cooks, cleans & has a job.

2. Its important to have a woman who can make you laugh.

3. Its important to have a woman who you can trust and doesn't lie.

4. Its important to have a woman who is good in bed and likes being with you.

5. Its very, very, very important that these four women don't know each other.

/humour

What do you expect Posh?...your attitude working against you,and women.....

Been with my 'wife' for 14 years,according to my tax return,i'm married....good enough.

What the church or whatever thinks,who cares?....you either live in the 1950's or you don't Posh,make up your mind,most of your threads say that you don't,then these one's come up.

That's just it, Dave. Like you, I am a multi-faceted person with a lot of depth and substance, not sound boastful, just a statement of how I view myself. I am a modern woman with modern ideas but I am also very conservative and have very traditional views on marriage, family and children.

I cling to and support a lot of early feminist ideas but realize that some current feminist modes of thinking actually hurt the advancement of women. I will fight just as hard for a woman who wants to stay at home with her children as I will for a woman who wants to be a professional and shatter glass ceiling. It's a choice for each of them. I respect that as long as I can have my choice when it's my time too. For example, when the time comes, I'm going to be a stay-at-home mom, like my mom was when my sister and I were young. I recall those days vividly and want my children to have those same type of memories. Until then, I'm going to work.

I can talk business in a boardroom full of professionals. I can cook a five course meal for eight people in three and a half hours. I can play the piano. I can also change the oil in my car and flat tire (my father FORCED me to learn to do this because he said today's man wouldn't stop and help a chick out).

Every Superwoman deserves a Superman.

Sheeeesh!

I knew they were BIG watches, but people actually live in these things???

Cheers, RICK

I know they can be used in pinch as a spare.

[limp]

You sure are some irreverent mother***kers. You have to twist the knife when someone believes in God or doesn't spell it in writing to observe religious law. Joewatch - I'm sure you're a clever fellow and know why she spells it as such. Playing naive with this crowd isn't going to convince anyone. All in good fun, of course, but I shake my head whenever I watch you iconoclasts slip in your little anti-religious sarcasm (sigh).

My wife is frigging awesome. Anyone who can put up with me and my antics doesn't deserve to be married to me, but I'm grateful every day for the injustice. She stuck with me through some very bad times, which was proof positive that she's the real deal. I count my blessings every day and hope she doesn't come to her good senses and take off...

Of course, we could be just as happy together unmarried since we don't want children, but FWIW, marriage has been a great experience that I don't regret.

@Posh - comforting to know that Italians and Jews can get along so well....

Well, I am rather religious and I also thank GOD every night for my kids, my wife, my family, the abilities he has given me and the opurtunities to provide (well) for my family. I attend church on sundays. There was no sarcasim or digs at religion, no anti religious comments . As clever as you may think I am, I honestly did not know why she could not spell GOD.. Just a simple question, and I got my simple answer

[roflwaffle]

That's cool. I respect that but can I speak to Mrs. Pugwash for a second? Go get her and bring her to the computer. You there, Mrs. Pugwash? Okay, good. YOU WON'T GET ANY ALIMONY! Alimony ensures that a man (or woman) continues to make the payments even if he decides to get a newer model. That is all. LOL

hrm.. alimony makes me sad.. its a step in the wrong direction.. and any couples who need crap like that.. starting on a bad foot imo. and even without alimony, women are statistically very likely to still get a good freaking chunk through divorce filings... planning out your divorce before you are even married just sounds horrible to me.

I agree with this. But if you're married, shouldn't you stop dating? Or you into that polyamory stufff?

now, i never said that said person was actively out looking... at all.

I just said that many people get married because they think they found 'the one' as 'obviously' someone you get along with great.. must be the only person in the world for you...

then finding out later that it is not the case..

completely excluding the actual presence of a third party.. just that there *is* someone else out there for that person.. somewhere.

so while marriage is a grand thing.. if you are miserable.. and cant work it out... there are people out there tht can make you just as happy.

i dont hope that for myself, but of course i am not one of those people that would get married after only 6 mo of knowing someone... as at least one of my friends has...

we see that a lot more these days... 'oh we met 3 weeks ago on match.com, and now we are engaged'

reads to me like 'we both fear that nobody else in the world would live with us, so we are settling for one in the bag asap... ' or 'i believe if you find someone you love, thats the 'one' person meant for you' as i said before.. both of which are entirely unture.

this is not to say that the '6 week of knowing someone' marriages are doomed, or cant be happy, just that marriage is a lifelong committment (ideally) and such decisions cannot possibly be well figured out in such a short time.

hell, I'd give more thought than that as to what tattoo i'd get, and thats hidable, and not likely to nag you, or take half your possessions and control of your kids

LOL

[Posh]

hrm.. alimony makes me sad.. its a step in the wrong direction.. and any couples who need crap like that.. starting on a bad foot imo. and even without alimony, women are statistically very likely to still get a good freaking chunk through divorce filings... planning out your divorce before you are even married just sounds horrible to me.

now, i never said that said person was actively out looking... at all.

I just said that many people get married because they think they found 'the one' as 'obviously' someone you get along with great.. must be the only person in the world for you...

then finding out later that it is not the case..

completely excluding the actual presence of a third party.. just that there *is* someone else out there for that person.. somewhere.

so while marriage is a grand thing.. if you are miserable.. and cant work it out... there are people out there tht can make you just as happy.

i dont hope that for myself, but of course i am not one of those people that would get married after only 6 mo of knowing someone... as at least one of my friends has...

we see that a lot more these days... 'oh we met 3 weeks ago on match.com, and now we are engaged'

reads to me like 'we both fear that nobody else in the world would live with us, so we are settling for one in the bag asap... ' or 'i believe if you find someone you love, thats the 'one' person meant for you' as i said before.. both of which are entirely unture.

this is not to say that the '6 week of knowing someone' marriages are doomed, or cant be happy, just that marriage is a lifelong committment (ideally) and such decisions cannot possibly be well figured out in such a short time.

hell, I'd give more thought than that as to what tattoo i'd get, and thats hidable, and not likely to nag you, or take half your possessions and control of your kids

LOL

A lot of people are scared of being "alone" and that's a part of being human.

People get touchy about that online dating thing so I'm gonna leave that alone. I have problems with it but there's people that swear by it. So I shrug and say whatever works for you.

[diablo2112]

People get touchy about that online dating thing so I'm gonna leave that alone. I have problems with it but there's people that swear by it.

Online dating totally and completely blows. Terrible way to find a potential mate. Unfortunately, my personal circumstances make this basically the only available choice. If there was any other way, believe me, I'd take advantage of it. And I'm still single after half a decade, so you can judge whether it's working.

I'm trying another method, which is a bit odd. More on this in a few months, then you'll all get to see how it works.

[$~mLuMaN83~$]

http://www.repgeek.com/showthread.php?t=34871

[Kollektor]

@ Kollektor : Wrong. Just the distllations of a lifetime of thought.
Last time I read Erich Fromm was 1966, ' The Art of Love.'

No, wasn't accusing you of lifting anything. Just commenting on our tendencies to entrap ourselves and live under the rules of a more ordered universe.

[Kollektor]

Well, I am rather religious and I also thank GOD every night for my kids, my wife, my family, the abilities he has given me and the opurtunities to provide (well) for my family. I attend church on sundays. There was no sarcasim or digs at religion, no anti religious comments . As clever as you may think I am, I honestly did not know why she could not spell GOD.. Just a simple question, and I got my simple answer

Sorry, Mate. Call me cynical, but cynical I shall remain. Surely in your lifetime you must have seen people write the word with a dash. If religious, surely you must know where this came from. Hell, I'm NOT religious and I do. Maybe it wasn't a dig at religion, but rather at those who believe the name shouldn't be written? I dunno. Anyhoo, back to the regularly scheduled program...